A Little Exercise in Theology

In last week’s blog (19 August, “God-Talk”), I wrote about how theology provides a framework for so much of our daily conversation, whether we recognize it or not. Whenever we bring up subjects that have something to do with ethics, values, morals, religion, philosophy, politics, family or dozens of other areas, it often times spills over into or indirectly relates to theology, that is, God-talk.

What is so difficult for many of us when we speak of theology, even for professional theologians and people in ministry, is that we want to round off all the edges, square the corners, and make sure every “i” is dotted and “t” is crossed. Desperate for exact answers, we crave God-talk that will behave like a math formula, where all the numbers line up and a perfect equation results, where an absolute solution is provided.

Theology, however, doesn’t operate that way. Theology is more like trying to draw a bird in flight. You might get a fair representation of it, but you will never be able to perfectly capture it. Some of the drawing will always remain speculative, elusive, merely what you think you saw. Many of the delicate details of the bird in flight will forever evade your conception.

That doesn’t mean that theology is a waste of time or effort. Theology, or informed God-talk, can give us much to chew on and struggle with and learn from. And as we meet and wrestle with biblical questions, we grow and expand our appreciation of God and others, as long as we give others a long leash in their understanding, too. For there will always be lots of wiggle room when it comes to theology, different ways to see and draw the bird in flight, so to speak. And that’s okay. After all, Paul said we view the things of God darkly, like looking into a hazy mirror. We can see, just not as clearly as we would like.

Maybe a little exercise in theology will help you to grasp how theology both reveals and conceals absolute answers. Let’s take the subject of divorce, for example. There are many faith traditions that hold marriage to be an inviolable institution. These traditions have derived their beliefs from some New Testament Scriptures that teach divorce as tantamount to adultery (Matt. 5:31-32), or can push one into adultery if a remarriage takes place.

Recognizing the reality that some marriages don’t work, and not wanting to condemn divorced people, some of these religious institutions have created ingenious ways of getting around divorce through a process called annulment. The marriage is annulled as though it never happened. I’m not sure that theological strategy is at all satisfying. The idea of annulment is derived from ecclesiastical tradition and not from Scripture. And I think in the long run it doesn’t really relieve anxieties or guilt felt by the people who have ended their marriage.

Other congregations have taken even more extreme positions. One church I know dismisses any member who has gone through a divorce. How tragic! When a person in pain needs the community of faith more than ever, the church turns their back. By reading the Bible literally, this particular church came up with a theological position that views divorced people as a stain on their community. Has this religious group forgotten the words of Jesus? “You without sin cast the first stone.”

So, as people of faith, how does our theology care for people who are going through or already have gone through divorce?

The Hebrew Bible or Old Testament permits divorce by simply giving the wife a bill of divorcement. The solemn phrase, “She is not my wife, and I am not her husband” (Hos. 2:2) concluded the marriage. Of course, the wife was often left destitute and had to resort to prostitution just to survive. And this is an important point to remember when reading the Bible. The Bible was very much a part of its ancient culture where women were more or less the property of men. To be sure, there were outstanding women in the Old Testament, women like Miriam, Esther, Ruth, Deborah, and others, but for the most part women were subservient to men. Rules for divorce heavily favored the male gender.

In the New Testament, there are several different passages that, on the surface, seem to extend this patriarchal system. Luke 16:18 and Mark 10:11 strictly state that divorce is not permissible. Jesus adds that in the Old Testament divorce was allowed because of the hardness of man’s heart. But then Jesus appears to say that anyone who divorces his wife causes her to become an adulteress (Matt. 5:32).

This passage is problematic. In the English text of Matthew 5 the so-called exception clause—“except for marital unfaithfulness”—has been cited by some as an escape hatch from marriage. In other words, if a person has been unfaithful, then divorce is permitted. The problem with this exception is that it is not found in any other of Jesus’ teachings on divorce. Most scholars believe it was added much later by other editors who wanted to soften the harshness of forbidding any divorce.

Well, there are other verses on divorce as well, but I think you get the general picture. Divorce, according to a strict reading of Scripture, is severely frowned upon, if not called an out-an-out sin. So, is this the last word? Are we ready to write a formula for divorce?

Not by a long stretch. There’s lots of theology that must come into play and be considered before a tentative answer can be given. Tentative, because all theology is only one step in the journey, not the final destination. Remember, we can’t capture all the details of a bird in flight!

First, the Bible affirms that marriage is the foundation of society. To treat marriage lightly or irreverently can cause severe damage, not only to those going through divorce but to the community as well. Divorce is painful, and the pain doesn’t disappear just because the papers have been signed ending the marriage.

Second, in the Matthew 5 passage, where Jesus reinforces the sacredness of marriage, he is not being calloused or hard-hearted, even if one takes the exception passage as genuine. Just the opposite. Jesus recognized the precarious position of divorced women in the ancient world. Women were homemakers and would become destitute without husbands. For Jesus, divorce signaled an irreversible harm to women, often forcing them to prostitution. If his divorce measures appear strict, it was because he was looking out for the welfare of women.

It’s a bit different in today’s world where women have more independence and choices after divorce. I don’t mean to imply that divorce is less painful today than then, but there are alternatives for women today that didn’t exist centuries ago.

Third, divorce is not an unpardonable sin. Is it a failure? Yes, but it is also an opportunity to ask for forgiveness, to learn from our mistake and to heal from our pain. And then to get on with a fresh start in life—to love again, marry again, and create life again. For God forgives us and removes our sins as far as the east is from the west (Ps. 103:12). Forgiveness is one of the chief cornerstones of biblical faith.

Finally, the passage in Matthew 5, even if the doubtful exception clause is accepted as part of the original text, needs to be placed in context of the total Sermon on the Mount. Notice earlier, when Jesus speaks of the righteousness of the Pharisees, he tells his listeners that their righteousness must surpass even the most religiously pure people of the day (Matt. 5:20).

Now how in the world can the average Jew, or for that matter any of us, possibly live better or more righteous lives than the Pharisees of the first century? These people were respected and honored by everyone for their dedication, morality, and spiritual walk with God. Quite simply, they were the best of the best. If their righteousness is the standard for entrance into the Kingdom of God, then the gates are shut tight for everyone.  

So, are we all condemned? Since no one can live a life that exceeds the righteousness of the Pharisees—and by the way, even their righteousness wasn’t enough—are we left without hope?

We would be if it weren’t for one critical theological word—GRACE! Grace is the key to unraveling the thorny problem of divorce, or really any and all theology. Grace is the Good News of Scripture that even when you fail God, God never fails you. Think for a moment. Jesus speaks of anyone who has anger in his heart toward his fellowman as a murderer. Who has not done that? He speaks of the kind of love for one’s enemy that is beyond human capacity. We all have failed to love our enemy, haven’t we? He condemns those who judge others—who hasn’t done that? And the list goes on and on. The entire Sermon on the Mount tells us how God ideally wants us to live among one another, but, unfortunately, it is a life far beyond our human abilities. The Sermon on the Mount invites us to open our hearts to receive God’s grace, for there is no other way we can possibly please God. We fall far short in every way.

Jesus knows all about our human weakness. Grace is God’s gift to us that catches us when we fall. Grace means that God accepts us, loves us, and forgives us, even when we are completely unworthy. There is nothing we can do to earn God’s grace. It is a gift.

And it is a gift to those who have divorced or are suffering through one. Grace means that God will never abandon you. God will always be there for you. It means that the slate has been wiped clean, and you are ready for a fresh start.

Accepting God’s grace doesn’t automatically take away the pain, guilt, raw emotion of anger that you may feel after having gone through a divorce. A time of healing needs to take place. Grace is the immediate surgery, though, that puts you on course for healing. There is still a spiritual process that will need to take place before you completely recover. But by acknowledging culpability, by seeking forgiveness, and accepting God’s grace, you can be ready to begin again!