Do You Really Want God for a Friend?
If confession is good for the soul, then I confess I am not at all sure I want to claim God as my friend. It may sound strange, even disingenuous, for a person of faith to admit that he is not at all certain he wants God for a friend, but that is exactly how I feel at times. I spent my working career as a minister trying to lead people to follow the ways of God, but there is a part of me that cringes when I think of what it means to call God my friend.
When you think about it, not all that many people in the Bible claim God as their friend. A notable exception, of course, is Abraham. It was said of Abraham, by other people, mind you, that he was a “friend of God.” Abraham, as far as I know, never claimed God as his friend, and I can well understand why he would hesitate to do so. Maybe he, too, wanted to keep God at arm’s length, especially after becoming better acquainted with him. God can make some bizarre requests of his friends.
You may remember the time when God instructed Abraham to sacrifice his son, Isaac. As readers we know that it was only a test, but Abraham didn’t know. Granted, Abraham didn’t go through with the terrible deed, but that God would even lead Abraham to contemplate such a wicked thing would probably shake his confidence in God forever. In the back of Abraham’s mind wouldn’t he always wonder, “Can I trust this God?”
VENICE, ITALY: Sacrificio di Isacco (Abraham and Isaac) by G. B. Pittoni (1713) in church San Francesco della Vigna
I know a minister who believes that Abraham knew all along that Isaac would be spared. God was simply probing the depth of Abraham’s faith, and Abraham knew God would figure something out before the incomprehensible deed was done. The entire sacrificial scene was staged so that Abraham could showcase how faithfully he could follow the script. Abraham played his role perfectly, knowing all along the Director had already written a happy ending.
I can understand why someone would want to interpret the story that way. If we read it at face value, watching the distraught father and unsuspecting son making their way to the site of the sacrifice, our hearts would naturally rebel against such an unspeakable act. What kind of friend would ask such a monstrous thing?
Of course, if Abraham knew that God would intervene and spare his son from the outset, then the element of faith cannot be taken seriously. For faith to be faith there can be no predetermined outcome, otherwise faith becomes a mere ruse, like taking a fill in the blank test where the answers are already written in or betting on a football game when you already know the final score. The point of the story is that Abraham didn’t know how the drama would end, and that is why he is honored as a man of faith.
In all likelihood God’s request must have shaken Abraham to the bone. He must have wobbled on shaky legs, barely able to put one foot in front of the other, all the way up the mountain. The experience would so unsettle him, he would live the rest of his life under its shadow. How can I be so sure? As far as we know, Abraham never spoke to God again.
Other people have had experiences that also made them second-guess friendship with God. Teresa of Avila, for instance, is remembered by the church as a friend of God. Her faithfulness and devotion to duty stand as reminders of the steep cost of claiming God as a friend. She spent much of her life begging in the streets for financial support for an orphanage, yet she encountered one obstacle after another. It almost seemed as though God was working against her. Once, after a particularly discouraging day, she prayed to God, “So this is how you treat your friends—no wonder you have so few.” I think this saintly woman speaks for many of us at times!
TURIN, ITALY : The painting of Stigmatization of St. Theresia of Avila in church Chiesa di Santa Teresa by Bartolomeo Garavoglia from 16th Century
People through the centuries have paid a price when they claimed God as their friend. Even Jesus warned us to carefully consider our decision whether we want to follow the ways of God. Be prepared to make sacrifice after sacrifice, he taught. The pathway to friendship with God involves self-denial and putting other people first. Things like loving your enemy, turning the other cheek, forgiving those who have wronged you and sharing your abundance with those who have less are all part of the price of claiming God as your friend. And that’s just for starters. Did I mention that Jesus also speaks of a cross? The bottom line is that friendship with God may even cost you your life!
We often speak of how much we love God and feel drawn to him without taking into consideration what that relationship implies. Examples from Scripture and history reveal that claiming God as a friend can be a rather disturbing and uncomfortable experience. The prophets come to mind. Most never lived long enough to collect Social Security. And then the disciples deserve mention too—all but one met premature deaths.
So, why do we even want to be friends with God? Wouldn’t it be a lot easier to go with the flow, to live and let live and just forget all the God stuff?
I suppose most of us would answer something like, “Well, when I die I want to go to heaven and by claiming God as my friend, I will be guaranteed a reservation in the Celestial City.” From a certain point of view there is some truth in that belief, but it is only a partial truth.
The purpose of our life on earth is to reflect God’s image in the world, to represent divine presence. In other words, the reason why we are here is not primarily about getting us into heaven as it is about getting heaven into us. In order to get heaven into us, we must grow and mature as human beings to fulfill God’s purpose for our creation. And the process of becoming our complete self is not easy, and that’s why the demands are so high when it comes to claiming God as friend.
A rough diamond has to be cut and chiseled to reflect its most magnificent self. Likewise, a human being has to go through a great deal in order to achieve full humanity. We enter the world rough, undisciplined and self-centered, but, as we grow in friendship toward God, learning to put others first, making the hard choices of self-sacrifice, finding it within ourselves to forgive those who have hurt us, the sharp edges are smoothed, and we begin to resemble something of God’s image in the world. Not completely, to be sure, but from time to time something of our divine craftsmanship may shine through. And there is nothing more fulfilling than becoming the person God created you to be.
Yes, friendship with God can be hazardous to our health, and the price we pay can be steep, but the cost becomes far greater if we choose to live life without God. To go our own way, to live only for self, we will forever remain unfinished, incomplete and unfulfilled. Friendship with God opens the possibility for our lives to realize their full potential and to reflect a little bit of heaven on earth.
