Heaven Is Other People!
Many of us have read, or at least know about, Daniel Defoe’s classic novel, Robinson Crusoe. An Englishman, Crusoe, is shipwrecked on an island off the coast of South America. The crew does not survive and Crusoe finds himself alone for 28 years on an uninhabited island.
Crusoe’s resourcefulness becomes immediately apparent, as he makes his lonely island a paradise. He salvages what he can from the destroyed ship and makes the best of a bad situation. His ingenuity in creating a comfortable lifestyle must have thrilled his London readers, as they eagerly read how this adventurous man shaped his primitive environment into a more than hospitable home.
In spite of having engineered many of the comforts of his London life, there is one thing Crusoe can’t manufacture—another human being. Crusoe is alone and his loneliness almost drives Crusoe mad. Even a paradise can become a hell on earth without another human being to share it with. Eventually, after years of desperate loneliness, Crusoe rescues a man about to be eaten by cannibals whom he names Man Friday. Not only does Crusoe rescue Man Friday from a horrible fate, but Man Friday rescues Robinson Crusoe from a tragic life of despair as well.
Loneliness inflicts a terrible toll on human beings. Research has shown that one out of every two Americans suffers from loneliness. Prolonged loneliness can cause, or make worse, depression, anxiety, heart conditions, diabetes, cancers, and an assortment of other mental and physical issues. We were not created to live apart from one another.
Recently, the US Surgeon General, Vivek Murthy, wrote in the New York Times that loneliness has become an epidemic among Americans and a national health crisis. According to the Surgeon General, loneliness harms people as much as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. He states that loneliness is a “feeling the body sends us when something we need for survival is missing.” Just as we need food and water to sustain life, we need social connections to thrive as human beings.
In the first book of the Bible, Genesis, God creates a man and places him in a garden paradise. It is a place without violence, without hunger or thirst, without the fear of death, and yet the biblical story tells us that man, Adam, is not content. Why? Why is Adam, who lives in a perfect world, not completely at peace? The Bible tells us: He is alone. God sees that something is missing in the man’s life that makes his life incomplete. That something missing in the man’s life is a human relationship. Even God admits, it is not good for man to be alone (Gen. 2:18).
Adam lives in an idyllic place, a heaven of sorts, and yet it is not enough. He is without social connections and his life is empty of meaning. A life in paradise can become a miserable existence, a hell on earth, without the companionship of another human being.
In poetic language, the Bible explains that God took a rib from Adam’s side and fashioned a woman, another human being who will be Adam’s partner. Together they will find joy, fulfillment, strength and solace in one another’s company. They will grow to be soulmates. In the English translation (KJV), the term “helper” or “helpmate” is used to refer to Adam’s companion, but the Hebrew word can also be translated as “rescuer” or even “savior.” It is another human being who saves man from a life of loneliness, a life of despair.
I have left nursing homes countless times after visiting an elderly person with feelings of great sadness. I knew that my visit would be the only visit outside the nursing home staff this person would receive for days, if not weeks. While the body of the person I visited was often frail, I was most concerned with the feelings of loneliness the aged person felt. Day after day these lonely people wait for someone to stop by, to visit, to care, to be present with them. Usually they are disappointed. I think many of these nursing home patients die more from loneliness than physical causes. Loneliness is one of the leading causes of death among elderly people.
Mary and her husband were vibrant people when my wife and I first met them years ago. They were active senior adults, played golf, regularly attended church and participated in other social activities, but over time age finally caught up with them, as it does to all of us.
After Mary’s husband passed away, she mourned his passing but courageously pressed on. It wasn’t long before other family members died and Mary’s world grew smaller and smaller. Then the pandemic hit and made it difficult for Mary to see and visit with her few remaining friends. Yes, she could telephone others but without the person-to-person interaction, Mary felt isolated and alone.
Soon her health began to deteriorate and she was placed in a nursing facility. My wife and I tried to visit Mary but had to visit with her through a glass partition. Every time we saw her, she appeared more diminished. It wasn’t long before she died. While Mary had some health issues, I think what caused Mary’s death was loneliness. Without the companionship of other human beings, she lost her will to live.
There are countless people like my friend Mary. And not all of them are in care facilities. Some of these desperately lonely people may work in the cubicle next to you or sit in the pew beside you in church. When you extend yourself to others in friendship and love, especially to the lonely and forsaken of this world, you are opening your heart to God and, more importantly, becoming a blessing to others.
