Thanksgiving—A Holy Day

Thanksgiving is my favorite fall/winter holiday. When I share with friends that I prefer the Thanksgiving holiday to Christmas, they often express surprise. How could I possibly rank a national holiday over a sacred holiday?

Strictly speaking, the Christmas season is more relevant to the Christian faith than Thanksgiving, but the Bethlehem story has been so swamped by commercialism and greed that the entrance of God’s presence into our world seems like an afterthought, if thought of at all.

Thanksgiving, on the other hand, still revolves around family and friends coming together to share in hospitality and fellowship. While there are still distractions on this day of thanks, most Americans spend the day with loved ones and friends gathered around a shared meal. I take comfort in the biblical passage that wherever two, three, or more share time together in an open, loving, and reciprocally vulnerable environment, there is the possibility that God’s presence will draw near (Matt. 18:20).

Early in my ministry, my wife and I invited senior adults, most of whom lived alone, into our home for Thanksgiving. Many of these people resided in special care facilities or nursing homes. A number of young adult couples volunteered to provide rides for those who couldn’t drive and even assisted in the preparation of food. We set up numerous folding tables throughout our small house, but when we sat down to pray over the meal, it felt like one large family.

Even though those Thanksgiving dinners occurred over 40 years ago, I can still remember many of the names of the people who shared the holiday with us. There was Miss Ruby, my 80-year-old secretary. Teeny Moore and his wife came, wearing their Sunday best. Ironically, Teeny was a tall man with a quick smile and a wonderful sense of humor. Katy and Fanny Reed, both in their 80s, never missed the Thanksgiving dinners. They were sisters who never married, lived all their lives together, and made the best minced meat pie.

W.D. West, who worked in the funeral home, could always be counted on, too. Even though he and his wife were only in their 30s, they had no relatives close by and didn’t want to spend the day alone. Our parsonage was packed with people who just wanted to be in the company of others.

Over the years, as the congregations I served grew larger in number, we moved the Thanksgiving luncheon from our home to the church and invited anyone who didn’t have a place to go to come join us. In a church I served in Plano, Texas, over 1,000 people annually dined with us on Thanksgiving Day. Grocery stores around the city donated turkeys with all the trimmings. Dozens of people from the church volunteered to spend their holiday with elderly folks or with those who simply did not want to be alone on Thanksgiving Day.

For three or four hours, young adults would visit with those who had lost spouses or lived alone or were no longer able to care for themselves. Often times the younger couples would form bonds with the senior adults who lived in nursing facilities, and the relationships would continue throughout the year. How wonderful to see young married couples and their children sitting in church with an elderly widow who they had met the previous Thanksgiving.

It is a depressing experience to live alone day after day. People need the presence, the touch, of other human beings, to feel cared for and loved. We have been created in such a way that life is lived best with others. Yet, there is so much loneliness all around us.

The epidemic of loneliness in our country has not gone unnoticed by health care professionals. Unfortunately, it’s not just the elderly who are struggling with loneliness. Studies show that feelings of loneliness are most prevalent among adults between the ages of 30-44, with almost one-third experiencing feelings of loneliness and isolation on a frequent basis. Just behind them are adults between the ages of 18 and 29. Feelings of loneliness and isolation can lead to a variety of health issues such as decreased brain function and heart related problems.

The role of technology and how it affects loneliness is a mixed-bag. Some studies have shown that social media actually helps ward off feelings of isolation, while other research has concluded that the jury is still out on whether technology can make an appreciable difference in alleviating feelings of loneliness.

I’ll leave it to the experts to sort all of that out, but what I do know is that there is no substitute for face-to-face encounters. A text message, e-mail, or even a phone call can’t replace sitting across from someone in conversation. Only when people are physically present with one another can deep and meaningful relationships develop.

On occasion, when I served a church as pastor, a member would write me an e-mail or text message expressing a concern or grievance. I found that if I responded through an electronic device, the chances of further exacerbating the situation increased. So, instead, I would call the person and invite them to have lunch with me or meet me at a local diner for a cup of coffee to discuss the issue. I learned that a tense situation could be defused more readily in a person-to-person meeting. Technology can’t replace the human gesture of a kind and understanding face or audible words that express empathy and concern.

For as long as I can remember I have loved the Norman Rockwell print of an extended family celebrating Thanksgiving around a food laden table with a large turkey the centerpiece. Young and old alike, shoulder to shoulder, reveling in the sacredness of being together. I cherish the Thanksgiving holiday for the closeness with families and friends it fosters.

I think Rockwell would paint a slightly different canvas today. The drawing would still depict a family, but American families are much more diverse in the 21st century than they were 50 or 60 years ago. Rockwell’s family portrait would reveal an array of skin colors around the table—black, red, yellow and white—maybe even a Muslim or Jew, wearing a hijab or kippah, but they would still be family. For wherever there is love, whether with family, friends, or even strangers God’s presence is so very close. And God’s presence transforms a national holiday into something far greater—a sacred holy day—Thanksgiving!