Transforming Suffering into Something Beautiful

I am at the age now when my knees are creaky, my neck a bit stiff and my hips ache from time to time. A few years ago my orthopedic surgeon, after looking at x-rays of my knees, said, “Man, Michael, you’re getting old!” I didn’t need to be reminded, but, hey, what are friends for? If I were a car, the mechanic would recommend not just a tune-up, but a complete overall, maybe even a new engine.

None of us gets through life without our share of bumps and bruises. That’s the price of being born human. But some people pay a far higher price than others to live in this world. These people know few normal days where their bodies work properly without pain. There is much tragedy and human misery all around us, and we don’t have to travel far to experience it.

What intrigues and inspires me is that some people, in spite of their daily physical or mental struggles, live remarkably significant lives. When I find myself in a pity party complaining about my age-related aches and pains, the stories of these people who know only bad days or worse days, and yet contribute to our lives in amazing ways, challenge me to become my best self.  

Through the years I have known a number of people who lived in constant pain or suffered from debilitating handicaps of one form or another. The medical community did all that could be done, but in spite of their efforts, these people still knew far more days of suffering than those of us who fret over a root canal or a worn-out joint or a cataract or some other annoying but relatively minor issue.

My wife recently lost a friend who suffered from polio. As a child Priscilla contracted the horrible disease that left her crippled for life. From the age of 6 she labored to walk with braces and crutches, swinging her legs as she supported her weight with her arms. Later, she had to use a wheelchair to get around, and still later, in her 60s, the nerve endings in her arms began to deteriorate, causing immense and continuous pain. But, amazingly, she seldom, if ever, complained. 

To speak with her one would never know that every day was a challenge. Daily activities like walking, something that most of us take for granted, required a herculean effort for Priscilla. These past several years the pain grew more unrelenting and unbearable and when the doctors spoke of how medicines might prolong her life, she fearlessly said, “No thanks.” 

She passed away a few weeks ago after a lifetime of perpetual suffering and disability. Some people might view her life as tragic and without meaning, a wasted life. But from everything I know about Priscilla she lived an incredibly full, meaningful and productive life. Yes, her life was tragic, but it was far from a meaningless and wasted life. In fact, her life was beautiful! She was a blessing to everyone who knew her, and our world became a better place because of her. Sure, there were probably days when she felt discouraged, maybe even angry, but she rarely, if ever, revealed that side. I stand in awe of her.

My favorite football coach, head coach Dave Aranda of Baylor University, recently said that when we experience unpleasant or unfair or adverse circumstances in life, we can either transform those occasions into something positive and good, or we can choose to transmit our pain to others and make their lives miserable as well. 

Dave Aranda - Baylor University

Most of us have known people who feed off of their misfortune, bitterly complaining how unfair life is, how they have been dealt a bad hand, etc. These people transmit their pain to their friends and loved ones, perhaps hoping for sympathy or comforting solace. 

There are other people, however, like Priscilla, who transform their incomprehensibly difficult lives into a blessing for all those around them. They courageously accept their difficult journey and transform their pain into something uplifting and inspiring. Their light shines far more brightly than those of us who travel through life relatively unscathed, for they transform what is hideous, scandalous and tragic into that which reveals the true nature of a human being created in the image of God. These remarkable people reveal that even suffering cannot diminish the divine spark within them.

In Greek mythology Sisyphus was condemned by the gods for all eternity to push a huge boulder up a steep slope, only to have the rock roll back down the other side when he reached the top. Then the beleaguered man would make his way back down the mountain, only to repeat the process. Day after day, month after month, year after year, forever, this would be Sisyphus’ lot in life. 

One day as Sisyphus reached the top of the mountain, he watched as the boulder rolled back down. Standing there, exhausted from his unending labor, something caught his eye. He noticed that the great weight of the boulder had carved out grooves in the side of the mountain and those grooves sparkled in the sun like diamonds. He was surprised by the unexpected beauty that his tragic fate had created and slowly his lips formed a barely perceptible smile. His life was lamentable indeed, but in spite of his grievous burden, he had fashioned something beautiful. He came to realize that there was meaning--even in his suffering. 

We can find something to complain about virtually every day. It doesn’t require much effort to gripe about what is wrong with our health, our jobs, our spouses, political events or any number of other things. And by so doing we transmit our pain to others, we become carriers of an infectious disease—the disease of cynicism. Soon we infect others with the disease for which there is no inoculation.  

But there is another choice. We can choose to transform our pain and suffering into something beautiful. It won’t be easy and there will be days when we will want to give in to despair. On occasion we may slip and reveal our feet of clay. That’s okay, too. After all, we are human, but even when we show our humanity, people who love us will understand. 

For the beauty we carve out of a pain-filled life brightens the world, and transforms people’s understanding of what it means to be human. At one time people may have thought, “Where God is, there is no suffering,” but now, after seeing those who transform their suffering into something beautiful, they have come to realize, “Where suffering is, there is God.” For way down deep inside, in the deepest part of our heart, we know that wherever God is present, there is lasting beauty!